Destressing Christmas Cracker Jokes

Okay, so I'm pretty sure we all know Christmas is only three days away. As a Christmas temp at Next, I have very mixed feelings for the Boxing Day sales and I haven't even finished my Christmas shopping yet. And I'm absolutely sick of Christmas carols. But, you should always take the time to relax and have a breather.

Hopefully at least one of these (rather cringeworthy) Christmas cracker type jokes will make you crack a smile. Crack(er) a smile - geddit? Yeah, expect that level of quality throughout.

What do you call a man in a hedge?
Russell

What do you call a man on a mountain?
Cliff
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Britney Spears
Britney Spears who?
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Oops, I did it again...
Who invented the knock knock joke?
I don't know but he won a No-bell prize.
Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field.
What does Miley Cyrus eat for Christmas dinner?
Twerkey

What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A cloud.
What did one snowman say to the other?
Do you smell carrots?
What do you call a donkey with three legs?
A wonkey.
What do you call a donkey with three legs and one eye?
A winky wonkey.
A jockey got knocked off his horse by a Christmas pudding, bath bombs, candles and yule logs. How did it affect him?
He felt very hampered.

They are all shocking, I know. Just remember Christmas is supposed to be a fun holiday and not one that totally stresses you out over which variant of Cookie-scented candle your 6 year old niece will prefer! Try to have as much fun as possible!

And we all know 'the best way to spread Christmas cheer, is singing loud for all to hear' - however these jokes should work pretty well too!

Merry Christmas and thanks for reading! Do you have any jokes I can share with my family on the day?

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